


Countdown to Christmas

by FlyAbove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on the 12x09 promo, Gen, M/M, but i thought i'd tag it anyways, cas is alone for the holidays, like it's barely there, not really but just in case, s12 spoilers, super slight destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8800930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyAbove/pseuds/FlyAbove
Summary: 2 weeks into Dean and Sam being gone and today is especially rough for Cas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the 12x09 promo and Cas counting the time that Dean and Sam were gone tugged at all of my heartstrings. He cares about the boys so much.

2 weeks, 3 days and 5 hours

Cas sits in the bunker’s kitchen with a glass of whiskey in his hand, exhausted even though he doesn’t need to sleep. He just finished torturing another demon, his 13th of the week. It was another pointless attempt. Cas found that demons, just like angels, knew little to nothing about the US government. He rubs his hand through his hair and takes the last sip of alcohol before throwing the glass against the wall, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.

He gets up out of the chair, not bothering to clean up the mess he made. He’ll clean it up eventually.

He walks out into the bunker’s main room, where the tv has been playing some old cooking show reruns for the last 2 weeks. Cas turns up the volume to full blast. He never actually sits down and watches it, he uses it for background noise so he doesn’t go insane from the deafening silence.

Sam’s computer rests on the table. Cas had spent hours researching where Sam and Dean could have been, how to save them. That was until the screen turned black and Cas couldn’t find the charger. It was dead and useless. So there it sat, a reminder that Cas failed once again.

Cas sighs, his body slouching in sadness and defeat. He’s never felt so alone and lost. 

It isn’t until he lies on Dean’s bed when he realizes he’s been crying. He doesn’t bother to stop the flow of tears. Instead he just settles in, clutching Dean’s pillow and softly calls out to him and Sam. He hears their prayers and feels their longing and Cas acts like it’s a conversation. Like they are actually in the room with him. It comforts him slightly.

Cas smiles for the first time in 2 weeks.

Then reality steps in and he’s suddenly back to sobbing. It’s uncontrollable at this point. He knows in the back of his mind that realistically if they are praying then they are alive and okay. It doesn’t help in the slightest.

Cas wipes his eyes and gets up from Dean’s bed. He straightens the sheets and places the pillow back exactly where Dean had left it. He heads toward the bunker’s library where he is greeted by a 10 foot evergreen tree, decorated with random tinsel and bullet casings. A brief feeling of pride washes over Cas. It’s a beautiful tree. He only wishes Dean and Sam were here to see it.

Cas spots the two neatly wrapped presents underneath the tree. 

_‘Cas, Halloween was yesterday do you really need to go out Christmas shopping right now?’ Dean asked._

_‘Yes Dean, I know exactly what I’m going to get both of you. With Lucifer on the run and the British Men of Letters hunting us who knows when the next time I’ll actually have the time to go out.’ Cas answered as he put on his trench coat._

_Dean rolled his eyes in fake annoyance. ‘Dude, we don’t even have a tree.’_

_‘Well then I will get us one. And we can decorate it together.’_

_‘I am looking forward to that.’ Dean smiled softly. 'Maybe we can get a little angel to put on top, get it a cool trench coat and tie to go with it.'_

_'And I'll make sure to get a pie that we can eat afterwards as a reward for all our hard work.' Cas promises._

_Dean winked. 'You know me well, angel.'_

_'You guys are gross.' Sam groaned._

Cas sits next to the tree and aimlessly picks at one of the branches. The only noise is coming from the TV in the other room.

“Today is Sunday, December 25th. I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday. Merry Christmas!” The woman on the TV says cheerfully. Cas drops his head and cries again for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

2 weeks, 3 days and 8 hours.

**Author's Note:**

> This is very short and kinda all over the place, I know. I basically just wanted to get this idea out of my head and onto a page so i can start writing a longer piece about how the 6+ weeks of Sam and Dean being in jail is affecting Team Free Will. especially Cas. I'll be honest, the 12x09 promo has me really excited. That mixed with the rest of the spoilers we've been getting about the 2nd half of s12...there's a lot of potential. And i see myself crying at least twice.


End file.
